


Never Believed I'd Make It Out

by todxrxki



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blind Date, Enemies to Lovers, Hate to Love, Love/Hate, M/M, a lot of fluff because that's who i am as a person, because the world deserves more tsukkiken, happy tsukkiken day!!!!, please love tsukkiken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-11
Packaged: 2020-03-01 01:00:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18789814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/todxrxki/pseuds/todxrxki
Summary: A couple of days ago, Tsukishima had finally broken down. One date, he’d told Hinata firmly. Hinata could set him up on one date, and then Hinata would shut up forever about how Tsukishima should put himself out there more often and try harder to find a boyfriend.But whatever. It’s too late to turn back now, Tsukishima thinks as he steps into the restaurant. If his memory serves him correctly, he’s looking for a Koizumi Kenta.In which a blind date gone wrong ends up turning into more than Tsukishima Kei had bargained for.





	Never Believed I'd Make It Out

Tsukishima Kei is not lonely.

 

That single (brain) celled organism that he works with can harass him all he wants, speaking all kinds of lies about how maybe if Tsukishima found someone, then he’d be a nicer person or whatever. It’s all bullshit. Not once in his life has Tsukishima yearned for something as utterly banal as the romantic company of another person. It’s nice to have Yamaguchi around, simply because Yamaguchi is not entirely annoying, but beyond him and his friendship, Tsukishima’s pretty sure he’d be content to be alone forever.

 

However, his stupid brainless coworker just wouldn’t stop harassing Tsukishima, so eventually, a couple of days ago, Tsukishima had finally broken down. One date, he’d told Hinata firmly. Hinata could set him up on one date, and then Hinata would shut up forever about how Tsukishima should put himself out there more often and try harder to find a boyfriend. He knows that it’s just because Hinata had recently started dating the moronic intern in their office, the one that broke two coffee mugs on his very first day and then yelled at Hinata for ‘giving him a faulty tray’. Tsukishima’s absolutely certain he will never understand the two of them. He’s also certain he doesn’t want to be in any kind of relationship that’s remotely similar to theirs.

 

But whatever. It’s too late to turn back now, Tsukishima thinks as he steps into the restaurant. If his memory serves him correctly, he’s looking for a _Koizumi Kenta._ He doesn’t have very high hopes for this date - after all, Tsukishima’s pretty sure that anyone who would willingly befriend Hinata’s dumb ass is not his type - but he tells himself over and over again that Hinata will stop harassing him if he just gets through these few hours. It’ll be so worth it.

 

He steps into the restaurant, one that’s relatively higher end, which Tsukishima assumes means that it had been Koizumi that chose it. He’s not sure Hinata’s ever been to a fancy restaurant. As he steps in, he scans the room for someone sitting alone, someone that Hinata had eagerly described as ‘looking like Orlando Bloom’. He suddenly wishes he’d thought to ask Hinata for Koizumi’s phone number, but no matter. After all, there can’t be that many people his age sitting alone at a restaurant like this.

 

Then he spots a guy about his age at a table in the corner. He doesn’t look all that much like Orlando Bloom, but Hinata’s a chronic over-exaggerator at the best of times, so Tsukishima isn’t too shocked. He looks… well, different than someone Tsukishima would imagine Hinata would be friends with, though. This guy has about shoulder length hair, tied back into a ponytail, and is wearing an oversized hoodie in a place this fancy. _Inappropriate attire_ , Tsukishima thinks snidely. A great indicator of how this date’s about to go.

 

Well, may as well just go ahead and get it over with.

 

“Hey, are you Koizumi Kenta?” he asks as he approaches the guy.

 

The guy looks up. The first thing Tsukishima notices are his eyes - a bright gold, the intensity in his gaze almost breathtaking. For a second, the guy makes no move in response; instead, he just gazes at Tsukishima in clear scrutiny. An awkward silence hangs heavy in the air between them. At last, the guy speaks. “I guess.”

 

“You guess?” Tsukishima can’t help but spit out. “You don’t know your own name?”

 

“More like you don’t know my name,” the guy mumbles. “It’s Kozume, not Koizumi, and Kenma, not Kenta. But I guess it’s close enough.”

 

“Fucking Hinata,” Tsukishima grumbles under his breath. Of course. Only Hinata Shouyou would be dumb enough to fuck up the name of the person Tsukishima is supposed to be going on a fucking _date_ with. And now here Tsukishima is looking like an idiot already. Great way to start off the date. “Well, just in case Hinata got my name wrong too, I’m Tsukishima Kei.”

 

“…nice to meet you?” Kozume says, tone somewhat inquisitive. Tsukishima doesn’t get it. Is it not normal to make small talk on a blind date?

 

He decides to move past it, ignoring Kozume’s blatant rudeness so far. “So, Kozume, what do you do for a living?”

 

“I work as a game designer,” Kozume mutters. He doesn’t make eye contact with Tsukishima. _Strike two._ “Uh… what about you?”

 

“I’m just a humble office worker,” Tsukishima says, sarcasm evident in his voice. “The most boring place on earth, with the worst co-workers on earth. And yeah, that includes Hinata.”

 

“…okay,” Kozume says slowly. “Uh. Time for a new job, maybe?”

 

“Don’t you think I’ve tried?” Tsukishima snaps. He makes himself breathe in and out slowly, a technique Yamaguchi’s taught him for dealing with stress, and damn is he feeling a lot of stress about right now. “I mean, yes, I’ve been looking for one.”

 

Kozume raises an eyebrow. He’s looking at Tsukishima again now, gaze still intense, like he’s trying to figure Tsukishima out. It takes a good minute of Kozume just staring for Tsukishima to realize he’s not going to get Kozume to speak again unless Tsukishima probes him with more questions. Tsukishima resists the urge to massage his temples to fend off the headache he’s sure is incoming. “Any hobbies?” Tsukishima tries.

 

“Video games,” Kozume says.

 

“If you work as a game designer, does playing video games really count as a hobby?” Tsukishima says darkly.

 

To his credit, Kozume doesn’t look offended at Tsukishima’s jab. Instead, he just blinks and says, “So I’m assuming being an asshole is your hobby.”

 

 _Huh. So he can get down and dirty with the insults, huh?_ It’s not what Tsukishima had been expecting from the smaller, fairly quiet guy. But when Tsukishima asks him, “Whatever. Uh, do you have any pets?”, Kozume’s eyes go back down to the table and his voice lowers again as he says, “A cat.”

 

Maybe he’ll have to coax the personality out of Kozume, then.

 

So he tries everything he can to get a rise out of the other guy. He makes snide comments about video games, rolls his eyes at the food that Kozume orders, ‘accidentally’ kicks him under the table - anything he can think of. Halfway through eating his chicken platter, Kozume finally snaps. “Are you always like this?” he hisses.

 

Tsukishima smirks and feigns innocence. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

 

“I just wanted to have a nice dinner,” Kozume says. “And I don’t know what the hell your problem is. What exactly did I do to you?”

 

“Nothing,” Tsukishima says, stabbing at his pasta. “You’re just boring, and I promised Hinata I’d get through this date, so may as well make it entertaining.”

 

“You what? I don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Kozume says, crossing his arms. “And are you saying that you just take pride in being an insufferable asshole?”

 

“Better than being a boring stick in the mud.”

 

“You’ve known me for half an hour.”

 

“I can tell when someone’s not worth getting to know.”

 

“Well, I can assure you I’m feeling the same way right now,” Kozume grumbles. “Feel free to leave at any time.”

 

“Why don’t you leave?” Tsukishima challenges, raising an eyebrow.

 

“I haven’t finished eating,” Kozume says, and then, glancing down again, his cheeks reddening, “and… I wanted to get a slice of pie before I left. They, uh… they have really good pie here.”

 

Tsukishima narrows his eyes. If Tsukishima hated himself, he might be willing to admit that the way that Kozume’s blush is almost cute. Thankfully, he doesn’t, so instead he thinks that Kozume Kenma has descended to a new level of intolerable. He scowls. “You’re willing to stick around on a terrible date for a slice of pie?”

 

Kozume raises his eyebrows. “I’ve done worse for pie,” he mutters.

 

 _Well, that’s almost interesting,_ Tsukishima thinks to himself, then kills that train of thought before it can go any further. He’s just here to get through the few hours with Kozume Kenma’s annoying ass and then he can move on with his life forever and not have Hinata riding his ass all the time. He’s not here to convince himself that there’s anything the least bit redeemable about Kozume.

 

.

 

Tsukishima suffers through another half hour of bickering with Kozume and stuffing himself with dessert before he pays his half of the bill and bids Kozume goodbye, content to know that he’ll never see Kozume ever again. He dials Yamaguchi’s number first. “Just had the worst date of my life,” he says flatly as soon as Yamaguchi picks up.

 

Yamaguchi chuckles softly on the other end. “Seriously? The blind date Hinata set you up on?”

 

“Yeah,” Tsukishima says. “First of all, he barely talked, and when I finally got him talking, it was just him insulting me.”

 

Yamaguchi sighs. “Did you insult him first?”

 

“So what if I did,” Tsukishima mutters crossly. “He was boring as hell. Besides, it’s not like I’m going to see him again.”

 

Yamaguchi groans. “ _Tsukki_.”

 

“I know, I know, I’m ruining my chances at love or whatever, I get it,” Tsukishima grumbles. “Trust me, even if I had behaved myself, that date wasn’t going anywhere.”

 

He can practically feel Yamaguchi’s disappointment radiating through the line, and it’s almost enough to make him feel bad. _Almost._ Yamaguchi says, “So what, you’re just gonna be alone forever?”

 

“I don’t care that much about romance anyways,” Tsukishima informs him. “Just because you’re happy with someone doesn’t mean you have to force that onto me, too.”

 

He regrets it immediately after saying it. He’s not actually pissed off with Yamaguchi. It’s just easier to snap at Yamaguchi than to acknowledge that there could be some truth behind Yamaguchi’s belief that Tsukishima purposefully sabotages any date he goes on. Yamaguchi’s voice is soft as he says, “Sorry, Tsukki.”

 

“No,” Tsukishima says. “Shit. I’m sorry. You have a point or whatever. But I’m serious this time. The date was terrible, and it would’ve been even if I hadn’t sabotaged it.”

 

Yamaguchi laughs softly. “Okay, Tsukki. But maybe give the next date a shot?”

 

Tsukishima scoffs. “We’ll see.”

 

.

 

The next day, during his break at work, Tsukishima storms over to Hinata’s desk. Hinata beams at him. “Hey, how’d the date go? I haven’t heard from Koizumi yet, but -“

 

“You mean _Kozume_?”

 

Hinata’s forehead creases. “Uh, no, I don’t-“

 

“What the fuck is wrong with you? I knew you were stupid, but I didn’t think that you had _no idea at all_ about my taste.”

 

Hinata’s eyes widen. “What do you mean? Koizumi’s really nice!”

 

Deciding it’s not worth it to correct Hinata again, Tsukishima says, “He barely talks.”

 

“What do you mean? He’s super talkative! We talk for hours and hours when we see each other,” Hinata says, beaming from ear to ear. Tsukishima wants to wipe the stupid grin off of his face.

 

“He literally didn’t speak unless I spoke to him first. Maybe he talks to you, but he was dead silent on our date.”

 

“That doesn’t sound like Koizumi,” Hinata says, puzzled. “He’s very friendly!”

 

“And his hair is horrendous.”

 

“…short black hair is that bad?” Hinata asks, raising an eyebrow.

 

“His hair wasn’t short,” Tsukishima says. “You fucking dumbass, his hair is almost to his shoulders.”

 

“No, it’s not,” Hinata says, crossing his arms across his chest stubbornly. “It wasn’t when I saw him a few days ago! So ha, you’re the stupid one here.”

 

Tsukishima breathes out again, pleading with himself not to deck Hinata in the face. As much as he hates this job, the pay is decent, and he really can’t afford to get fired at this point in time. Then, suddenly, he has a flash of realization. “Hey, idiot. Make yourself useful and show me a photo of this Koizumi guy.”

 

“Oh, sure!” Hinata says brightly, pulling out his phone. “We just went to the museum a couple of days ago, and we took Instagram photos in front of it! Oh, here’s a good one!”

 

Hinata hands him the phone, and Tsukishima’s heart speeds up a little bit as he realizes that the boy he’d gone on a ‘date’ with had definitely not been the person that he was supposed to be on a date with. No, Koizumi Kenta has short black hair and dark eyes. His grin is nearly twice the size of Hinata’s, and in the second picture, he’s doing an obnoxious peace sign pose. Koizumi Kenta is the exact opposite of Kozume Kenma, it seems. Tsukishima looks up at Hinata with a questioning gaze. “What the fuck? This guy doesn’t look like Orlando Bloom, you liar.”

 

“He totally does!” Hinata yelps, and then crosses his eyes. “Wait, so you didn’t go on a date with Koizumi then?”

 

“No, you waste of breath. I told you already. I went on a date with Kozume Kenma.”

 

“….oh. Well, I don’t know a Kozume Kenma.”

 

“That son of a bitch,” Tsukishima hisses under his breath.

 

“Oh, hey! Koizumi just replied! He said he didn’t see you at the restaurant so he ended up leaving! Want me to reschedule?”

 

“I’m going to kill you.”

 

“…is that a no?”

 

.

 

Two days later, Tsukishima is sitting at a coffee shop with Yamaguchi when he spots _him_ on the other side of the restaurant.

 

Kozume Kenma is resting in a booth alone, a notebook in front of him along with a mug of coffee. His intense eyes are fixated on someone on the other side of the restaurant; he picks up his pen to scrawl something before resting his hand on his chin, clearly very intent on what he’s doing. Before he knows what he’s doing, Tsukishima jumps up out of his seat, says, “I’ll be right back” in a stiff voice to Yamaguchi, and marches over to Kozume.

 

He interrupts Kozume’s daydreaming session or whatever the fuck he’s doing with a loud, “So you didn’t have the guts to tell me I’d been making a fool of myself all night on our ‘date’, huh?”

 

Kozume jumps the slightest bit, then turns his intense gaze on Tsukishima. “Oh. You,” Kozume says in a voice that’s mildly disinterested. Tsukishima can’t _stand_ it.

 

“Yeah, me. The guy you fucking lied to,” Tsukishima growls. “What, you didn’t think it was weird when a random guy approached you for a date? Or were you just that desperate?”

 

Kozume just shrugs. Slowly, too slowly for Tsukishima’s liking, he says, “Well, you just sat down and started talking. By the time I figured out what was going on, it was too late for me to say anything without it being awkward.”

 

“You just decided to let me look stupid the entire night instead and make both of us suffer.”

 

“It wasn’t that bad,” Kozume says. “I got my pie. That’s what I was there for.”

 

“Oh my god, I didn’t think you were actually this stupid,” Tsukishima says. “I wasted my valuable time eating with your insufferable ass.”

 

“Okay,” Kozume says, not sounding apologetic in the least. “Can you leave now? I have things to do.”

 

“Yeah, stare at people like a stalker,” Tsukishima says.

 

Kozume stares at him again. Tsukishima finds that he hates being under Kozume’s gaze; the intensity of it makes it seem like Kozume can see into his very soul and is judging what he finds there. “I’m observing them for a book I’m going to write. I don’t think you can call me stupid when you can’t even figure that much out.”

 

“You didn’t mention that when I asked about your hobbies,” Tsukishima retorts with a frown.

 

Kozume shrugs. “People usually ask what I’m writing about when I say that, and I don’t want to tell them.”

 

“Oh,” Tsukishima replies. It makes sense, and yet somehow, there’s a part of Tsukishima that wants to know more about what Kenma’s writing. Instead, he says, “Well, I need to get back to my friend.”

 

“So you’re done being a bitch about an accident that was your fault,” Kozume says matter-of-factly.

 

“How the fuck was it my fault?” Tsukishima says, feeling heated all over again. “You were the one that didn’t tell me that you weren’t Koizumi Kenta.”

 

“I did tell you, actually.”

 

“But you didn’t correct me when I sat down and started to talk to you like we were on a date?”

 

“Well, I just thought you were one of those, uh, those weird friendly types.”

 

“No. I fucking hate those kind of people.”

 

“….me too. It’s unnatural.”

 

Tsukishima can’t help the snort that leaves him at that. He folds his arms across his chest. “You know, if you hadn’t lied about being my date, you might not be that bad.”

 

“…maybe I would’ve behaved better, had I known it was supposed to be a date,” Kozume says. “And if you weren’t trying to provoke me the entire time.”

 

“It was the only way to get you to talk.”

 

“I was practicing stranger danger.”

 

Tsukishima rolls his eyes. “Then you should’ve just told me to fuck off. But I guess the damage is done now.”

 

“You know, uh,” Kenma says, not making eye contact again, “we could always do a… do-over?”

 

“A do-over?” Tsukishima repeats. He considers it for a second. Objectively, Kozume is certainly not ugly. His hair is weird as hell, yeah, but his eyes… and his face… well, he’s not the worst-looking person Tsukishima’s ever seen. And when Kozume’s like this, talkative, sarcastic, _interesting_ … it’s a side that Tsukishima wants to see more of. He thinks back to what Yamaguchi had told him, that he needed to give things like this a _chance_ , that he needed to give happiness a chance, and it’s that echoing in his head that gets Tsukishima to nod. “Fine. But this is your last chance, Kozume. I’m not a forgiving person.”

 

“Call me Kenma,” Kozu- Kenma says. “No one calls me Kozume. It’s weird.”

 

“You can stick to Tsukishima,” Tsukishima says.

 

Kenma just shrugs. “Okay,” he says, and Tsukishima _likes_ it - likes the way that Kenma doesn’t get so easily flustered by Tsukishima’s insults, that Kenma either shrugs it off or dishes it right back. He writes something on his paper and then rips the piece off, handing it to Tsukishima. “This is my phone number. You can text me, I guess. Don’t call me.”

 

“I wasn’t planning on it. Like I’d want to call your annoying ass, anyways.”

 

The corner of Kenma’s mouth turns up. _Shit,_ Tsukishima thinks. He’s never seen Kenma smile before, and he thinks absently to himself that this could prove to be a major problem. Kenma says, “I think you’re the annoying one here. You came over here to harass me, after all.”

 

“Because you lied to me.”

 

“I did not.”

 

“Whatever,” Tsukishima says with another eye roll. “I’m leaving.”

 

“I look forward to your text later.”

 

“You’re so annoying.”

 

When he gets back to the table, Yamaguchi is staring at him, a grin on his face and his eyebrows raised. “Who was that?” he says in a sing-song tone. Tsukishima hates it.

 

“The guy I accidentally went on a date with the other night,” Tsukishima says reluctantly.

 

“The worst date of your life that ended up being the wrong person?” Yamaguchi says with a gasp. “Seriously?!”

 

“Ugh. Yes.”

 

“But… he gave you his number?”

 

“It turns out he isn’t that bad,” Tsukishima mumbles under his breath.

 

“Uh. What was that? I think I’m gonna need you to repeat that.”

 

“Oh my god. Shut up, Yamaguchi.”

 

“Sorry, Tsukki! I’m just so happy for you! You should text him. Like, right now.”

 

“We’re still in the same room, Yamaguchi.”

 

“Oh. Right.”

 

.

 

**To: Kenma**

 

Hi. This is Tsukishima.

 

**From: Kenma**

 

really? that’s the first text you’re going with?

 

**To: Kenma**

 

Fuck you.

 

**From: Kenma**

 

….

 

**To: Kenma**

 

I was going to call you the bane of my existence in the text, but I left that part out. You should be grateful.

 

**From: Kenma**

 

at least that wouldn’t be boring as hell

 

**To: Kenma**

 

You seriously can’t talk. You were the most boring person alive the first time we talked.

 

**From: Kenma**

 

because i thought you were some crazed stalker

 

also i’m shy

 

**To: Kenma**

 

Until someone gets you mad.

 

**From: Kenma**

 

i guess

 

aren’t you supposed to be asking me out

 

**To: Kenma**

 

No.

 

**From: Kenma**

 

waiting

 

**To: Kenma**

 

Have you lost the ability to read? I said no.

 

**From: Kenma**

 

i can wait all day

 

**To: Kenma**

 

Oh my god. Whatever.

 

Kozume Kenma, not to be confused with Koizumi Kenta, would you like to go to dinner with me this Friday at 8?

 

**From: Kenma**

 

no insults. 8.5/10

 

**To: Kenma**

 

Fuck you. You did not just rate me asking you out. You’re a piece of shit.

 

**From: Kenma**

 

see you friday

 

.

 

This time, Kenma very notably does not wear a hoodie to the restaurant they agree to meet at. He’s dressed in nice jeans this time and a plain black shirt, but there’s something stylish about it, and Tsukishima hates his traitorous heart for beating a little faster at the sight. Kenma stares at him again, the intense stare, and then motions towards the door. “Thank god we got here at the same time this time so you wouldn’t go sitting down with some Kazuma Tenma.”

 

“I’m going to kill you.”

 

“Sounds good,” Kenma says as he walks into the restaurant. They get a table in the corner again, but this time, when Tsukishima asks him questions, Kenma answers with more elaborate answers and questions of his own.

 

“There’s no way you think that Pepsi’s better than Coke,” Kenma says, wrinkling up his nose.

 

“This just confirms my theory that you have no taste buds at all. Explains why you said you like those nasty sugar cookies.”

 

“I like sweet things. Which means, by all accounts, I should not be on a date with you.”

 

“I’m going to throw this menu at you.”

 

“You won’t.”

 

Tsukishima makes a move like he’s going to, and he can feel the way his mouth twists up in response when Kenma doesn’t even duck away, just raises an eyebrow in challenge. _Damn, he’s good,_ Tsukishima thinks to himself.

 

“I would say cats or dogs, but I know your answer,” Tsukishima says.

 

“…what do you think my answer is?”

 

“Cats, obviously. You behave like a feral cat half the time.”

 

“I do not.”

 

“But that’s your answer.”

 

“…”

 

“You’re incredibly obvious. Uh, tea or coffee?”

 

“Hot chocolate.”

 

“That wasn’t even an option, moron.”

 

“…I wanted it to be.”

 

 _Why the fuck is he so cute,_ Tsukishima thinks, digging the nails of his hand into his palm. His distress level only increases as Kenma says, “You didn’t eat your entire meal last time. Do you usually eat a lot?”

 

“I eat a normal amount,” Tsukishima says flatly. “The serving sizes here are too large.”

 

“Then maybe we can share,” Kenma says. “They’re too large for me too.”

 

Sharing a meal? It’s incredibly sappy and disgusting and something that Tsukishima would scoff at other people doing. But still he finds himself nodding, because, well, he doesn’t even _have_ a reason why. God, he needs to snap out of this. He looks up to see that Kenma’s watching a couple at a table nearby that seem to be engaged in a heated discussion. “She cheated on him,” Kenma says flatly.

 

Tsukishima places a hand under his own chin to prop himself up. “Why?”

 

“The usual.” Kenma shrugs. “She didn’t feel like he loved her. Which, in that case, just break up with him.”

 

“People are stupid,” Tsukishima agrees.

 

Tsukishima hates that hearing Kenma’s agreement of “total imbeciles” sounds like music to his ears.

 

.

 

After they finish eating, they decide to go for a walk around outside, since it’s still early and it’s a nice day out. There’s a video game store nearby. Tsukishima recalls Kenma saying he likes video games, so he suggests they go there, to which Kenma agrees wholeheartedly.

 

There’s some kind of a fluttering in Tsukishima’s chest as he watches Kenma weaves through the game aisles, his eyes brighter than Tsukishima’s ever seen them. Kenma emerges with a game in his hand. “This is one of the games I’ve worked on,” he says.

 

“Damn,” Tsukishima says, lifting an eyebrow as he takes in the game box. He turns it over to read the back, then says, “Well, this sounds more interesting than most of the drivel I’ve played.”

 

“Truly the highest of compliments coming from you,” Kenma says dryly, but Tsukishima sees the spark in his eye. “If you’ve only played drivel, that means you just haven’t played enough games. I’ll show you the good ones.” Kenma takes ahold of Tsukishima’s hand with one of his own, and Tsukishima’s heart skips a beat in his chest at the feeling of having Kenma’s much smaller hand inside of his own. He lets himself be pulled along by Kenma’s tide.

 

They walk around for a while after they leave the game store. Tsukishima tells him about Yamaguchi, and Kenma tells him about his own childhood friend. Tsukishima explains all about his annoying co-workers. Kenma laughs quietly, and Tsukishima savors the sound. “So did you just ask me out to get them off of your back?”

 

“Shut up,” Tsukishima grumbles. “I’ll put you on my shit list too.”

 

Kenma smirks. “Fine. You’re all bark and no bite anyways.”

 

“Why do you have to be so goddamn annoying?” Tsukishima asks, letting go of Kenma’s hand for the first time in a while. He turns to face Kenma, taking Kenma’s face in between his hands. “Good thing I know a way to get people to shut up.”

 

Kenma’s smirk doesn’t fade. He just tilts his face up, his eyebrow cocked up in challenge, and so Tsukishima takes advantage of the opportunity to lean down and press his lips to Kenma’s. It’s warm, all the more as Kenma gets up on his tiptoes to wrap his arms around Tsukishima’s neck, and feels more pleasant than Tsukishima could have imagined. _Shit,_ Tsukishima thinks to himself. _So this is what Yamaguchi has been telling me I’ve been missing out on. Well, that’s stupid._

 

When Kenma pulls back, Tsukishima stares down at him and feels his breath catch in his throat. Kenma’s cheeks are rosy and his eyes are kind of shiny. There’s that same kind of intensity in his gaze that Tsukishima had seen that first day, the intensity that now makes Tsukishima feel like he’s being devoured alive.

 

God, he despises Kozume Kenma. How dare this random guy just show up in his life and have this kind of an effect on him? It’s not even fucking fair.

 

“This almost makes up for the disaster first date,” Tsukishima says, reaching out to take Kenma’s hand again, just because he can.

 

“That was your fault.”

 

“If you could stop being annoying for five seconds, that would also help.”

 

“Your whole ‘stoic annoyed bitchy guy’ act doesn’t work when you’re still blushing, for the record.”

 

“I can’t stand you.”

 

“It doesn’t work when you’re still holding my hand either.”

 

“Please just shut the fuck up for five seconds.”

 

“Who was it that complained about me not talking enough on our first date?”

 

“I take it back.”

 

He kisses Kenma again in front of Kenma’s apartment complex, and he thinks he might be getting a little bit addicted.

 

.

 

**From: Hinata**

 

YAMAGUCHI SAYS YOURE DATING THE GUY FROM THE BLIND DATE I SET U UP ON!!!! THAT MEANS U HAVE TO BE NICE TO ME!!! I GOT U A BF!!!

 

**To: Hinata**

 

Yamaguchi is dead meat.

 

**From: Hinata**

 

OMG ITS TRUE!! TSUKKI HAS A BF!!!!

 

**To: Hinata**

 

Don’t call me that or you’re next on the list.

 

**From: Hinata**

 

I HOPE U AND KENMA-NOT-KENTA ARE VERY HAPPY TOGETHER!!!

 

**To: Hinata**

 

I’m finding somewhere new to work.

 

.

 

“Oh, shit,” Tsukishima says, his eyes widening as he looks at the other side of the restaurant.

 

Kenma glances up, a puzzled expression on his face. “What?”

 

“Look to your right,” Tsukishima hisses. “Don’t be obvious.”

 

Because Kenma is apparently perfect in every way, he’s not conspicuous when he tilts his head slightly to the right, his eyes flicking over the person’s figure once before looking back at Tsukishima. He raises an eyebrow. “Still don’t get it.”

 

“That’s Koizumi Kenta,” Tsukishima says.

 

Kenma lets out a little snort that’s among Tsukishima’s favorite sounds in the world, apparently. God, he’s really let himself slip these days. Kenma says, “You’re kidding.”

 

“Would I fucking lie? Hinata showed me a picture of him. That’s him.”

 

“So that’s who you should have dated instead,” Kenma says. There’s not really a hint of jealousy in his tone, more a spark of interest. “He talks a lot. That’d get on your nerves.”

 

“I’d probably get tired of him in less than a minute,” Tsukishima says in agreement. “I can see how he and Hinata are so close.”

 

“Shouyou’s not bad,” Kenma says, and Tsukishima kind of hates that his boyfriend is on first-name basis with the actual bane of his existence, but life apparently despises Tsukishima Kei.

 

“Kenma. I swear to you, I have never, in the two years I’ve known him, use a single one of his brain cells. He told me yesterday that he thought Greece was the capital of Rome.”

 

“…they’re both in Europe?”

 

“ _Kenma._ He’s seriously the biggest idiot I’ve ever met.”

 

Kenma smiles. “Okay, yeah, I know. He thought they grew pickles in the ocean.”

 

“He said that a necromancer is someone who has a thing for necks. Neck-romancer. I wish I was kidding.”

 

“And to think, you get the privilege of working with him every day.”

 

“I’m going to rip my hair out.”

 

“You’ll survive,” Kenma says passively, patting him on the shoulder. Tsukishima catches his hand and intertwines their fingers again.

 

“There is only one thing in this world I have to thank Hinata for,” Tsukishima groans, “and I hate that he has that over me.”

 

“Uh, are you getting sick?” Kenma says, his nose crinkling up. “That’s almost romantic.”

 

“I can’t stand you,” Tsukishima grumbles, but his face softens as Kenma presses a kiss to the back of his hand. Turns out there are some people he just can’t stay mad at for very long.

 

Life really does hate Tsukishima Kei.

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY TSUKKIKEN DAY!!!  
> I know I have about a million rarepairs, all of which are Kenma/someone, but this is a ship I really think deserves more attention. What better than two salty blondes that can bitch about people together? Also, Kenma wouldn't put up with Tsukki's shit, and I love it. This is the Tsukkiken agenda.  
> Thank you to Riley for the fic idea and for all the little details!!!  
> Please leave kudos/comment if you enjoyed!


End file.
